Getting Our House In Order
Starting over can be intimidating, expecially if one is on the other side of 50. Although one has a wealth of wisdom and experience under ones belt, there is always that cloud of fear and doubt looming above. And there are all those younger, more energetic people with whom we must compete.
The best way to deal with that looming fear and self doubt is head on confrontation. A comprehensive self inventory is in order. Take stock of yourself. Make a list of your assets and liabilities in the different areas of your life. What is great the way it is? What are the areas in need of improvement.
When it comes time to sell a house, what do we do? We look at the house with a critical eye. We take an inventory of what needs to be fixed. We notice the best features and promote them in marketing the home. We improve both the internal and external appearance. We may give it a new coat of paint or some new landscapaping to give it better curb appeal. We often ask experts for their opinion. Yet while living in the house, we tend to get accustomed to it's shortcomings, we live in it the way it is. Many of us do not "fix it up" until it is time to put it on the market. At selling time, we fix it up so we can get top dollar.
Now let's apply the same principals to getting ourselves ready for the market. Whether it is the job market or the mate market, or some other market, the same principals apply. Look at yourself with a critical eye. Be honest. Ask other trusted friends or family members for their input. Are you in your best condition? Are you ready for market? You are selling yourself. Have you kept yourself in shape or have you put on a few (or many) pounds. How is your health? What is your wardrobe like? Do you need a new hairsyle? Do you need a refresher course of some sort? Have you kept up with current technology? You get the idea.
Note your best features. Determine how they can best be used as selling points. How can you be sure they are noticed by others? Knowledge is power, know your strengths and use them well. If you do not know your strengths go to www.authentichappiness.com and take the VIA Signature Strengths Questionnaire. This is an invaluable tool for you and it is free. It will cost you about 30 to 45 minutes of your time.
Get get yourself in order. What can you do to get yourself in your best condition and ready for market? Make a list of the improvements needed. List a goal by each one, an action step, and a target date. Prioritize what needs to be accomplished first, second, and so forth.
You will improve your confidence just by taking steps to get yourself in prime condition. Your confidence will improve even more as you begin to meet your goals and objectives. There is no better selling point than confidence in oneself. When you feel good about yourself and know you are the best you can be, others will take notice. It will come accross in whatever endeavor you attempt.
The best way to deal with that looming fear and self doubt is head on confrontation. A comprehensive self inventory is in order. Take stock of yourself. Make a list of your assets and liabilities in the different areas of your life. What is great the way it is? What are the areas in need of improvement.
When it comes time to sell a house, what do we do? We look at the house with a critical eye. We take an inventory of what needs to be fixed. We notice the best features and promote them in marketing the home. We improve both the internal and external appearance. We may give it a new coat of paint or some new landscapaping to give it better curb appeal. We often ask experts for their opinion. Yet while living in the house, we tend to get accustomed to it's shortcomings, we live in it the way it is. Many of us do not "fix it up" until it is time to put it on the market. At selling time, we fix it up so we can get top dollar.
Now let's apply the same principals to getting ourselves ready for the market. Whether it is the job market or the mate market, or some other market, the same principals apply. Look at yourself with a critical eye. Be honest. Ask other trusted friends or family members for their input. Are you in your best condition? Are you ready for market? You are selling yourself. Have you kept yourself in shape or have you put on a few (or many) pounds. How is your health? What is your wardrobe like? Do you need a new hairsyle? Do you need a refresher course of some sort? Have you kept up with current technology? You get the idea.
Note your best features. Determine how they can best be used as selling points. How can you be sure they are noticed by others? Knowledge is power, know your strengths and use them well. If you do not know your strengths go to www.authentichappiness.com and take the VIA Signature Strengths Questionnaire. This is an invaluable tool for you and it is free. It will cost you about 30 to 45 minutes of your time.
Get get yourself in order. What can you do to get yourself in your best condition and ready for market? Make a list of the improvements needed. List a goal by each one, an action step, and a target date. Prioritize what needs to be accomplished first, second, and so forth.
You will improve your confidence just by taking steps to get yourself in prime condition. Your confidence will improve even more as you begin to meet your goals and objectives. There is no better selling point than confidence in oneself. When you feel good about yourself and know you are the best you can be, others will take notice. It will come accross in whatever endeavor you attempt.
Whoa! That was powerful! Ouch. I have let myself go a little since going to school and recovering from a broken leg in the midst of that. Our financial situation is on the edge, so a new hairdo and wardrobe are out of the question right now. I really don't have the wardrobe I need for interviewing. That's a huge obstacle. The plan I have for that is temping at jobs where I don't need great clothes until I can put some money back to buy better ones. It seems so silly to go to "whatever I can find" right after graduation. I have student loans to pay. But I do have lots of resources at school and at the county Career Center for guidance during this time.
Your letters were really helpful, and they are what I need to fight the sluggish state of mind that wants to suck me in. I can't afford to lose to that.
Thanks for the ammo.
Betsey
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Betsey,
Consider visiting your local thrift store, goodwill store, or consignment shop. I have found some really great items there at more than reasonable prices. People often donate clothing items simply because they no longer fit. (I dropped off 4 bags the other day simply because they are now all too big!) It is a good affordable source especially useful during times of transition.
Experiment with your hair yourself. A new "do" is not essential, just update what you have. Where it up...style it differently, or just give your hair some attention! Sometimes, as women, a new style makes us feel better, like we are keeping up with the times.
Watch for my next posting. It's in draft form now. It's a tool to help you with this process.
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Thank you Sandy, I'll do that. Tomorrow's graduation, and my hubby just sold his motorcycle and is giving me $100 for clothes. If not for that even goodwill was out of the question. Kinda depressing. But a very good friend of mine has been fighting cancer, and his courage leaves me no excuse for self pity or feeling I can't make it.
I'll be looking for your post, and I'll let you know how it goes. Who knows? Maybe one day I'll be able to help some else get out of her rut!
Fondly,
Betsey
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I thoroughly enjoyed the entry, "Starting Over after Fifty." It was direct, insightful, and contained practical suggestions. I'd like to suggest one further area to consider during - perhaps before - the self-appraisal. This area is to be sure that the market - job, mate, etc. - that you have decided to enter truly is the one with which you want to start. Would you like to get a job and get out in the world on a consistent basis and see what's happening first hand? Would you feel more comfortable entering the market to find a mate with the security (and added interest factor) of the work you do. Reflect carefully on "why" you want to compete in the market you plan to enter. If you are satisfied that your choice is right for you - not a reaction to the comments of friends and family - then follow the tips in the "Starting Over" article and go for it with determination and a sense of fun.
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