Is There Romance After 50?
I certainly think so. Although it is not quite as easily accomplished as in the earlier years. In my town, there are way more 50 plus women than men. There is even a bigger shortage of men one would actually want to engage in a relationship. So many men seem to stop caring about how they look, they don't bathe regularly or do their laundry. And some act as if they are ancient. Some prefer the lure of the younger woman. However, there are still men of quality out there who prefer to keep time with women near their own age.
A male friend has shared with me some of the dating horrors he has encountered. He told me about the woman who invited him over for dinner then wanted to have him as an appetizer. He left immediately. Then there was the woman who on the third date kept demanding to know what he thought about "us". Advanced age does not give one a pass for rapid relationship formation. All the rules still apply. And men who are older are more inclined to expect a lady to act like a lady. Contrary to popular thought all men are not ready to hop in the sack with the first enticing woman to give them the time of day.
Men and women who have reached the age of 50 have a pretty good idea of what they want and need in a partner. They would rather be alone than lower the standard. They already know what doesn't work for them.
So men, the ladies will not like you if you look and smell like you came out of a dumpster. Stay clean, active, and take care of yourself. Women, slow it down, give the relationship time to bloom before giving the flower away, or expecting too much too soon. Everyone needs to have interests, hobbies, and meaningful activities to stay interesting. Who wants a dull romance?
A male friend has shared with me some of the dating horrors he has encountered. He told me about the woman who invited him over for dinner then wanted to have him as an appetizer. He left immediately. Then there was the woman who on the third date kept demanding to know what he thought about "us". Advanced age does not give one a pass for rapid relationship formation. All the rules still apply. And men who are older are more inclined to expect a lady to act like a lady. Contrary to popular thought all men are not ready to hop in the sack with the first enticing woman to give them the time of day.
Men and women who have reached the age of 50 have a pretty good idea of what they want and need in a partner. They would rather be alone than lower the standard. They already know what doesn't work for them.
So men, the ladies will not like you if you look and smell like you came out of a dumpster. Stay clean, active, and take care of yourself. Women, slow it down, give the relationship time to bloom before giving the flower away, or expecting too much too soon. Everyone needs to have interests, hobbies, and meaningful activities to stay interesting. Who wants a dull romance?
I am 57 and am 9 years into my second marriage. I adore my husband, but since menopause, I have had no sexual desire at all. I still have sex with him because I love him, and we discuss this problem openly because we both understand that it is important to make love, and I want him to understand that my lack of desire is not because I no longer care for him. I want to demonstrate that. So I am very affectionate and try to reassure him, and he believes me, for which I am glad. But I am wondering if I will ever get those feelings back. Lately I have been having dreams in which I find myself attracted to other men, but oddly, the man I'm cheating on in the dream is my ex-husband and in the dream I have no memory of my present husband. That is very weird. What do you think it means?
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My gut reaction is that you still have sexual desire deep down inside. I think it can be reawakened. Questions that come into my thinking are how does your current husband approach you for sex? Does he make an effort to bring romance along? It is important to continue to reassure him of your love. In your dreams is the ex doing something the current husband does not do? Does your husband do the things that really turn you on? I also wonder if you have discussed your apparent decrease in libido with your physician? Also, I was under the impression that this blog would notify me when there was a comment. It did not. I appologize for my delay in reply. I now know I need to check this blog often.
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Thanks, Sandy. I am not sure you were responding to my question or someone else's, but it applies to my situation somewhat.
I do have dreams sometimes about my exes, but none of them are about sex. If I have a sexual dream where I am turned on, it is usually about a stranger. Occasionally, I find myself attracted to other men, but I love my husband very much, and have learned a painful lesson in my life about what comes from acting in any way on those attractions.
I have been working very hard to lose weight in a healthy manner, and to become more active physically. I also have recently found a job that is very satisfying, so I am much happier and excited about the future. That helps a lot. I am a bit wary of trying any hormonal treatment, but am trying an over-the-counter product called Estroven, per the recommendation of a friend. I also am taking a multivitamin along with omega-3 and
Co Q-10. So it is hard to pinpoint what is working, but I do feel better, and though I have not had a climax yet, I do feel very sexy and confident.
My hubby and I have always been able to disuss this openly, which keeps us both from assuming the wrong thing and reacting to something non-existant.
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