You may think it is only women who have a rough time of starting over after 50.  Let me tell you about a male friend of mine.  He served as a firefighter for 25 years, a hometown hero, as I am sure he has helped save many lives.  He developed a health problem that required him to leave his chosen career on disability.   After that his girlfriend of 5 years decided she wanted to see what else was out there.  And a major catastrophe took the life of 9 of his firefighter buddies.  His dog (of the best friend type) died.  The government is dragging it's feet on approving his social security disability and the disability payments from the fire department just barely covers monthly bills.  His parents are deceased. 

In this situation the first thing we do is look for what he does have.  He has a home close to the beach that he loves.  He has a wonderful daughter with whom he is close.  He is a talented artist and has artwork available for sale. He has a new dog, a wonderful cat, many friends, a new truck, and a therapist paid for by the former employer.  He has been putting lots of energy into fixing up his home.  He has many talents.  He owns a home with equity for needed financing.  It is time for him to get out and about and create a new future for himself.   

He feels he has no hope of landing meaningful employment due to his health problem which is not going to go away.  His artwork is quite good but he will tell you very quickly that he knows nothing about business and how to promote his art.  So in this case, my suggestion is to focus on the artwork.  Learn about marketing.  Make it a business.  And pound the pavement looking for outlets to sell his work. 

I connected him with a gallery owner friend of mine who will hopefully get him started in the right direction regarding marketing his artwork to galleries.  I referred him to the local Small Business Development Center for business consulting on the right way to start a business.  And I suggested he hire a coach.  In this situation coaching is very appropriate in addition to counseling.  He needs to create a clear, believable future vision for his life and his business.  Then he will need a road map to make it happen with specific small steps outlined along the way, a silent partner to help and encourage, and priorities.  He will need an accountability partner, someone to keep him focused and on task.  Someone to help him maneuver around obstacles that get in the way, brainstorm for solutions, and celebrate the successes along the way.   The counselor will help him deal with the emotional issues connected with his losses.  The coach and he will co-create his new life and business. 

So, ladies, you do not have a monopoly on needing to start over after 50 in multiple life areas.  It happens to the men too.