Divorce Do's and Don't's

Do
  • Do get an attorney
  • Do know your rights
  • Do have realistic expectations
  • Do understand that in South Carolina there is a set guideline for child support developed by the Department of Social Services and adhered to by the court  
  • Do be honest about income, expenses, and assets
  • Do work toward a reasonable settlement, continued adversarial positions deplete assests available to both parties and to your children  (the attorney gets the money)
  • Do think about the kids when negotiating custody and visitation - put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself what is the best arrangement for them 
  • Do develop a coparenting agreement to ensure the children receive consistent parenting between households - this is best for them. 
  • Do put your anger aside long enough to settle your divorce. 
  • Do be proactive and save yourself some money by using a family mediator early in the divorce process when there are settlement problems
  • Do use a counselor to help you with the emotional trauma and drama of divorce
  • Do use a counselor or a coach to help you rediscover yourself and design your post divorce life
 Don't
  • Don't use your attorney as your counselor for emotional matters
  • Don't wait until the court appoints your family mediator and chooses one for you
  • Don't jump right into another relationship
  • Don't use your children as a spy on your spouse
  • Don't parade your new woman or man in front of your children - give them time to heal
  • Don't ever put your spouse down or talk negatively about your spouse to your children - this only damages the children
  • Don't use your children as bargaining chips or go betweens
  • Don't let anger get in the way of good judgement
  • Don't withdraw and get depressed
  • Don't take your anger, frustration, and hurt out on your family and friends
  • Don't overindulge in the use of alcohol or drugs
  • Don't make decisions based on emotions
  • Don't cut off communication with your spouse - this results in family assets being transferred to the attorney in the way of fees
 

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Posted by Sandy Davidson at 1/6/2009 12:50 PM
Categories: Divorce
 

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